This Halloween why not get the girls round and remind them why you’re the fucked up one of the group? There’s nothing quite like showing your friends you have potential cause to be unfriended and shunned from the Whatsapp group, but that’s why Halloween was designed – to be your true self without judgement. This list is reminiscent of my 13th birthday party when I invited a group of friends over and inflicted IT on them, which left me with a much smaller friendship group afterwards.
Horrify your friends this Halloween, with five films that will scar their minds forever:
Grief, sex and the destruction of a marriage; don’t tell me these aspects aren’t included in many films marketed at women. Antichrist from Lars Von Trier is the harrowing tale of how a couple deal with the death of their son which happens while they are busy engaging in sexual intercourse. The grief and despair that consumes the wife (She is played by regular Trier favourite Charlotte Gainsburg) gives the husband (He is played by William Defoe) the fab idea to take her back to where they holidayed with their son so he can give her therapy. As with a lot of ideas that men conceive, it’s fucking stupid and doesn’t harbour the results he had expected. Instead She goes on a sexual rampage and starts to defile her husband and herself, which leads to genitals being mutilated… Show the girls that it’s okay to act a little OTT and go psycho on your husband’s dumb idea.
Abuse and sexual violence, this film is a shocking way to remind your friends that it’s always chicks before dicks, because violent sex with men can lead to body decomposition. In all honesty, domestic abuse is no laughing matter and Thanatomorphose doesn’t even go near anything light-hearted. In an exceptionally extreme and disturbing way, Eric Fardelau’s film deals with how one woman’s mind and body begin to decay after she is treated like nothing but a piece of flesh left out for flies to feast on as it decays. This film is depressing, and shows just how oppressed one woman is, and the sickening way she succumbs to her rotting plight after what we can only assume is a long background of abuse.
Love stories should always be complicated, and always include corpses. Because alive boys just aren’t as fun as stiffs as we discover in Nekromantik 2… Monika is just a happy-go-lucky girl who has a strange fetish for necrophilia and when she digs up a grave with the previous film’s protagonist in – she decides to keep him as her non-consenting boyfriend. When she meets real boy Mark, everything becomes a little confusing for her, but it’s clear that he hasn’t mastered her needs when it comes to climaxing. What transcends from here is a sickening love story about necrophilia, very similar to the first film yet slightly more focused on the orgasmic needs of Monika and her choice to pursue what she wants in this world. In one scene we watch Monika and her friends watch animal cruelty videos while the corpses head is on the table… You can use this film from German director Jorg Buttgereit to remind your friends that not only is it okay to follow your sexual desires no matter how illegal they might be, but that there are always friends that will be happy to participate with you.
When the girls are over, what do you usually talk about? Boys, marriage, babies? The usual women things that we seem to be beholden to… Well if you’re like me and find these conversations endlessly tiresome, then there’s one way to ensure that you can put your friends off thinking about committing. Inside from Julien Maury follows one pregnant woman who is terrorised by another woman set on cutting the woman open and taking the unborn child for herself. The French horror film is one of the most harrowing experiences that any woman could possibly imagine, and therefore is the perfect film to ensure your friends don’t abandon you for a miniature version of themselves.
Slumber Party Massacre
There’s no way you can have a slumber party without making the girls watch Slumber Party Massacre, right? This film isn’t specifically classed as an extreme horror film, but it seems too appropriate to not have on the list. One girl invites over her friends for a slumber party, and the girls are consequentially murdered by a maniac brandishing a power drill as his weapon of choice. Although Slumber Party Massacre isn’t an extreme horror film, it has some fun elements including a 10 inch drill being pile-driven through a man’s chest and so on. It really is the ideal choice to force upon the girls and remind them that there’s always one maniac at every sleep over and therefore they should choose their friends carefully.
What horror films would you show your friends at a sleep over? Let me know in the comments or head over to Twitter to chat @ZoboWithShotgun