Five Horror Films Loved by You But Hated by Me

Oh, here it comes, another post that will rile you all up and leave me Twitter notifications full of people being enraged at my opinions and possibly trying to get me to admit that I’m wrong. Opinions are opinions, no matter how CONTROVERSIAL they might be.

Something I love to ask the horror community is; what film do you hate that everyone else seems to love? It can be risky question to answer honestly, but as long as you have good enough reason to back it up, then there shouldn’t be any film-based civil wars.

Some of the reasoning’s for my hate of these films isn’t comprehensively justified, but they’re in my burn book and they will never leave it.

5. The Funhouse (1981)

Many people have ranted and raved about this film, but I watched it and just thought “How boring.” It’s a shame as I’m a Tobe Hooper fan, so when I went to watch it I thought there would be no chance that I wouldn’t fall in love with it, but it really didn’t tickle my pickle.

The acting from all the cast made me feel a little queasy, and it really was difficult keeping my attention when I couldn’t have given a fuck if they were killed or not. The Funhouse has enjoyable aspects such as the claustrophobic feel throughout and the oddness of the monster/bad guy himself, but he reminded me of the lovable Sloth from The Goonies too much.

Sorry Tobe, but this is one film that I’d only use if I developed insomnia.

4. The House of the Devil (2009)

Ti West is a director that I have a strong marmite relationship with, and it’s for segments like M is for Miscarriage (so hideously untasteful) and this film, that I hate his filmmaking. The House of the Devil could be called slow, but you could also call it an absolute pointless drag.

Although it has the overall look and feel of a 80s horror movie, including cinematography and soundtrack, it also lacks any kind of excitement or story line. There are tense parts, but it seemed like I was watching a live cam of a paranoid teenage girl babysitting… So we watch, and we watch and we watch. Not much happens until the very end, when all the gore and gruesomeness appears, but then it quickly ends leaving me unsatisfied. It reminded me a lot of certain people I’ve slept with.

Cut out the first 80 minutes of the film and it would actually be quite good.

3. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

The tale of Sweeney Todd is a very intriguing one for us British, and one that has been adapted in film, TV and probably even shaving equipment. It’s quite popular. I like the story, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Tim Burton and musicals but I absolutely detested this film.

I think it’s the musical side that really ruined it for me. Some of the songs are great, but for a story so dark and disturbing, it just doesn’t work at all. I’m not against musical horrors, as I love The Wicker Man and Repo! The Genetic Opera, but Sweeney Todd and his equally sick partner Mrs. Lovett don’t need singing and dancing to let us know they’re twisted as fuck. It really disappoints me that I don’t like the musical theme of this film as I quite enjoy all the other aspects.

Tim Burton, I love you, but please don’t try mixing gory serial killers and heart wrenching ballads again.

2. Lake Mungo 2008

This fucking film – I FUCKING HATE IT. Excuse my language, but you must know how much this film infuriated me. All the online reviews are great, so I picked it for weekly Friday movie night with my friends and it was the biggest flop we’ve seen. *We watched approx. 2000 films that year.

It has all the makings of a fantastic film with its documentary style, peculiar happenings and creepy images but it just doesn’t bother to end the film. In no way am I against ambiguous endings, they can work well, but this one didn’t. Without giving spoilers away, it basically says this happened to the daughter, everyone is devastated and confused as fuck and that’s just that. We’re given no slight explanation as to why, how, who, where, it just left us all going “Oh okay, that was shit then.”

Lake Mungo stands as the biggest disappointment I have ever seen.

1. Scream 1996

The last one will probably cause a riot because I’ve only ever met, maybe two other people who agreed that Scream is lame. I’m a massive Wes Craven fan, but I just can’t enjoy Scream, no matter how hard I try to.

The comedy doesn’t make me laugh at all and the characters in Scream are annoyingly tiring to watch. The Ghostface mask for me is probably the least menacing looking mask there has ever been – it just looks silly. I actually prefer the new look seen in the Scream TV series as it looks far more threatening. As for having a clever, complicated and twisted plot, I disagree. Have you seen a film called Proxy? Go watch that and then tell me Scream is still more of a mind-fuck than that is.

So yeah, I really didn’t enjoy anything from Scream at all.

Persecute me for this list if you wish, but I’ll never change my opinion on how ultimately tedious these films are.

Other films that made me fall asleep:
21 Grams
Captain America
Marvel Avengers Assemble
Ted 2
The Conjuring